First off, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, and a safe Christmas. To those traveling, and those who struggle during these times of year. Often times these holiday seasons are glossed-over with bright lights seasonal songs, while those who have less reason to cherish these days are scoffed-at and Scrooge'd.
Those who struggle with difficult familial environments… just know that sometimes the sanctity of solitude IS better than putting oneself through the torturous presence of those who do not value you. I may not know you, but maintaining sound mind and a steady heart will do much more for you and those you hold dear. You’d be amazed at what you can accomplish if you practice a little virtuous selfishness. Especially in these times where society slows way down — there’s a lot less distraction.
Let’s not forget those who sacrifice their time with their families to make sure that the finer points of modern society still operate. Those skeleton crews manning hospitals, oil rigs, fire and police stations, the EMTs, the line workers, the bartenders giving a kind word to a lost soul, the tollbooth operators that aim to turn a frown upside down, and of course my Brothers- & Sisters-In-Arms; I salute you.
These holy days, are not about exchanging gifts so as to gain something that which we did not have to spend on. These days are opportunities to inspire our loved ones. To show that we care for their continued health and security. So that we may see them again in 12 months time, and hopefully stronger and better than they appear to us today. In a world of ever-growing uncertainty, we each have a chance to help calm the nerves of those closest to us that may not understand what is happening.
My mission with this newsletter has been the foremost spreading of information to help navigate the perils of an intense, and rapidly evolving landscape.
These Are The Days Where We Can Have Powerful Impacts…
What really sparked off this writing was an exchange with a longtime friend of mine the other day. From a world that I happily left behind. She’s of the very same mindset and lifestyle that she was nearly 10 years ago when I last saw her; consistent alcohol consumption, struggles with depression & anxiety, and a general anger towards the way the world has gone (or at least seems to have gone). Taking things completely out of the context of our exchange, she expressed frustration and exhaustion with how unfair the world is, that the world should be what changes — not her.
This is the state of mind that we must exorcise from our loved ones, and those we hold dear. And is also a state of mind that I see as being more common than it is rare.
The world simply IS. The world is brutal, and yet the world is loving. The world is fair, and yet it is wildly unfair. To expect the world to change according to your demands, as if to shift the fabric of reality to bend to how you see fit, simply is not the way.
If you have a loved one that expresses these feelings during this season, my request is to promote empowerment of that individual. They aren’t healthy and express wishes to change that? Talk to them about getting started with physical activity; walking is a great first step. Pun intended.
For the ladies out there that wish predators and evil-doers would just stop existing… I’m sorry to break it to you girls but those types won’t be going anywhere. So, the proper response is to empower the self. Take up strength training, self-defense training, firearms training, a martial art… shit do all of them if you are capable! The point being that if the world is cold and dark, why not work to stoke your own fire? Railing and mewling against the world without working to create a solution accomplishes little else then excessive energy expenditure with zero returns for yourself.
Not to mention it does nothing for the self-confidence. Whereas the previously mentioned activities? they all improve it, drastically.
Do they express wishes to change a spattering of aspects of their life, but experience anxiety about where to begin? Pick one — you don’t need to change everything all at once. In fact, I aggressively recommend against doing that. Very few of us can handle making multiple large lifestyle changes at once and avoid burnout (which is one of the biggest causes of relapse). Practice that new change consistently enough to the point of it becoming routinized, second nature. Then move on to the next.
A lot of people proclaim the classic, “…Rome wasn’t built in seven days…” yet they foolishly expect otherwise when they go to do anything worthwhile for themselves.
It’s the one year anniversary of my writing “The People Pleaser Paradox,” an essay of which I received far more praise than I would’ve ever expected. I recommend visiting it, or if you’ve already read it — read it again. As a man who has had to act as the Emotional & Philosophical Anchor for my family for many years running now, I hope that many more of you take up the standard and do the same.
The more of those we care about that we can support and uplift to become strong & successful in their own right, frees up our hearts and our minds to direct that support to an other, and continue effecting the REAL changes that this world so sorely needs.
Merry Christmas all, and to all a Strong Life.
I’ll see you all in 2023!
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