A Series of Extremes
Americans overuse hyperbolic language in day-to-day communication in a farcical attempt to make their lives sound interesting. They’ve learned (from first-hand experience) that if they were to describe their activities or events in their lives accurately, the regaling would entail less interest.
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” - Not Henry David Thoreau
My exposure to what the standard American millennial is doing is: (A) working too many hours for a job they don’t care about, (B) working too many jobs to be able to pay the bills for too many things that they simply do not need or use, (C) drinking too much alcohol on a consistent basis, (D) not engaging in enough regular physical activity or healthy eating. Then there’s those of my generation that are doing these things, or any combination of the previous list, while rearing up children. Which I am all for, just make sure you’re taking plenty of time to be a proper parent. With all of these things in consideration, what is the outcome? Minimal time.
Minimal time to go and do things that we find interesting, or we believe others could find interesting. How many of your peers have hobbies that you find interesting? How many of your peers get off work and waste the rest of their days watching streaming services or playing video games? (I was an avid gamer, so believe me when I mention gaming that I fully acknowledge how much of a waste of time it was; that was its primary purpose; to consume time that I did not know what to fill it with.)
How many times have you exaggerated the details of a story as you share it at a party or at work with the intent of making it more interesting? I’ve done it plenty. But there in lies the problem; so many of us are sharing stories with language expressing such extremes that the values of these extreme words become diminished. Desensitizing us. No different than increasing tolerance to insulin or alcohol. We are inadvertently increasing our tolerance to language that is of impact and excitement, rather than that language that is more closely representing reality. Why?
Because we want to be people interested in what we have to say.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the problem.
A Matter of Love
Another extreme in language, that I’ve felt has been a problem for one too many moons now… the overuse of the word love.
You say it when you mean it. And only when you mean it. Otherwise, your overuse of the word diminishes it’s value. Just like with expletives. For the same reasons with regards to tolerances as mentioned above. Love is a very powerful, and valuable thing. It’s representation and expression should not be handled lightly. Your use of it to describe the fleeting enjoyment of even the smallest thing diminishes it’s power as being representative of something that holds significant value to you.
Why Is Kindness So Scarce?*
*This is taken from my response to a friend of mine posting the above question to her Instagram story. What follows is my ranting response that she was subject to, just as you are now. So enjoy.
Because people have lost both the willingness and ability to think, and think critically, and think for themselves. Kindness has become a scarcity because the true meaning of a “nice person” has been construed and conflated.
The average individual sees nice people as weak, which they are, but not for the widely accepted reasons. Nice people are weak because they do not say what is honest or true for fear of stirring waters or hurting feelings or falling out of favor. Nice people are not weak because they are good meaning, nice people are weak because they attempt to win over favor by telling individuals precisely what they want to hear.
The problem arises as the average individual conflates “nice” and “kind.” Niceness is patronizing, placating. Kindness is nurturing, empowering. But most of all, kindness is honest. A nice person will lie to you and say you don’t look fat. A kind person will tell you that you’ve gained weight in a manner that reaches you with as little insult/pain as affordable while getting the point across. Preferably in a meaningful enough manner to inspire behavioral changes.
And the average individual associates “nice” with weakness, meaning “kind” gets roped-in with it. Resulting in everyone avoiding being perceived as either due to the attribution with weakness.
Nice is weak.
Kind is powerful.
Be honest.
Be kind.